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The NFL is about to reward mediocrity and at least five teams (Lions, Cowboys, Giants, Panthers and Packers) are thankful for that. If you're a bad team, there's no better place to stink it up than in the playoffs. At least you'll get an extra paycheck and the chance to prove that, despite a poor record, you can keep the Rams and Colts from scoring 50 points. The Lions lost to the Broncos at home, slipped to an 8-7 record and still clinched a playoff berth. Who said there's no Santa Claus? The Cowboys have a losing record (7-8), lost to the Jets and Saints in successive weeks, and still control their destiny. Even O.J. doesn't have so many lives. If Deion Sanders didn't believe in the power of prayer before, he does now. The Boys just need to beat the Giants and they're in the playoffs with a glittering 8-8 record. Mediocrity never tasted so good. The Panthers and Packers are hoping for a Giants upset, so they can sneak into the playoffs with an equally dazzling 8-8 record. It's a good thing the Redskins beat the Niners or we may have seen three 8-8 teams in the playoffs, all from the once-dominant NFC. It's also a good thing the Cowboys are playing the Giants in the final week or we may have seen a 7-9 team in the playoffs. That's like allowing Dan "Big Daddy" Wilkinson to run the 100-meter dash in the Olympics. You know he'll lose and you know it'll be ugly, but there's always a chance he could fall and trip another runner.

J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! The New York Jets are 7-8 and almost playoff-worthy despite a 1-6 start. After trouncing the Dolphins in Miami, the Ray Lucas-led Jets are one of the hottest teams in the league, prompting their fans to ask the inevitable question: What if? What if Vinny Testaverde had not been injured in the first game? What if Rick Mirer had not been allowed to touch the ball? What if Lucas had played the entire season? With a few more Mirer-less games, the Jets could be playoff-bound. But Bill Parcells, a true genius of a coach, didn't learn from the mistakes of Tom Flores, Dennis Erickson, Dave Wannstedt and other coaches. He thought he could turn Mirer into a starting quarterback. Parcells helped the underachieving Testaverde reach the Pro Bowl and thought he could do the same with the mistake-prone Mirer. Big mistake. Just ask any Seahawks fan.

HE'S BAAAACK: Sorry Bengals fans, but the frightening movie you've been watching has another sequel. Yes, Bruce Coslet will be back in 2000. He has been asked to star in Bengal Nightmare 3. Or is it Bengal Nightmare 5? I've lost count. The Bengals are 4-11, once again proving their affinity for double-digit losses. Unfortunately, they don't play in the NFC, so they have no shot at the playoffs. But the ever-forgiving and ever-thrifty Mike Brown has decided that Coslet deserves another shot. You'd think the two were related. Perhaps next year, with a few good draft choices, the Bengals will achieve the promised land: mediocrity.

WIDE RIGHT: It's better to be lucky than good, as the Bills will attest after their 13-10 overtime win over the Patriots in Foxboro. No way should they have won. Patriots kicker Adam Vinatieri missed three field goals, including two that would have decided the game. (Tax tip to Vinatieri: The IRS expects you to declare the money you received from Wade Philips.) The Bills, who began the decade with miserable luck (Scott Norwood's miss in the Super Bowl), got more good luck on Monday when the Jets upset the Dolphins, giving the Bills a playoff berth. If the Bills get any luckier, look for Doug Flutie to be touting his long-distance phone numbers in the Super Bowl.

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS: It was refreshing to see Norv Turner smile Sunday night after the Skins won the NFC East title, making the playoffs for the first time since 1992. Turner, who barely saved his job last year, received an endorsement from tough new owner Daniel Snyder and can now focus on lowering his blood pressure. Turner had to make the playoffs to survive this year. Next year, he may have to make the Super Bowl. Who said Bill Clinton has the toughest job in Washington?

BITS AND PIECES: It's appropriate that the Cowboys-Saints game was scheduled on a Friday, because that's when most high school teams play. ... If the Jets beat the Seahawks this Sunday, they will give the rival Dolphins a playoff berth. Talk about incentive to lose. ... The Buccaneers bounced back from a 45-0 loss with an emphatic 29-10 thrashing of the Packers. Another win and they'll earn a division title, playoff bye and more television time for Warren Sapp. ... The Raiders need a win in K.C. to avoid a losing record. Jon Gruden has failed to get the Raiders to play to their potential. Al Davis doesn't have much patience and will quickly remind Gruden that "Commitment to Excellence" doesn't just mean looking pretty.