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Did Christmas come early in Oakland? How else can you explain the Raiders' 45-0 trouncing of the Buccaneers, a team whose vaunted defense had humbled formidable foes such as the Lions, Vikings and Seahawks. When Raiders and Buccaneers tangle, you expect a fierce, take-no-prisoners battle, with enough penalty flags thrown to strain an official's arm. Instead, the Bucs waved the white flag and pleaded for mercy, sustaining the worst loss in franchise history. It was another strange outcome in a season that's weirder than Don King's hair. The Bucs defense had allowed just one 100-yard rusher in 19 games, but gave up 262 yards rushing to the Raiders, including 100-yard performances by both Napolean Kauffman and Tyrone Wheatley. The holes in the defense were so large that Barbara Walters would have gained 100 yards. Even if she stopped to interview Warren Sapp. Oakland fans must be wondering how their team can look so good at times and still fail to achieve a winning record. Maybe if the season were extended a few games, the talented Raiders would make the playoffs, instead of playing poker at Howie's.

HEIGHT DISPARITY: Anyone heard of a tall cornerback? They don't seem to exist. That's why some teams value tall receivers who can outjump cornerbacks for lob passes. The NFC Central boasts three of the best, Randy Moss, Marcus Robinson, and Herman Moore, all who can easily dunk a basketball. Robinson made 11 catches for 170 yards on Sunday, helping the Bears stun the Lions 28-10 and making Lions defensive back Robert Bailey look like Gary Coleman. Another player whose height scares defensive players is Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez, who has the athletic ability of Charles Barkley. Many a defensive back in the AFC West has wished that Gonzalez would move to the NBA.

STAYIN' ALIVE: Only a third of the 31 teams have been eliminated from the playoff race. The rest are staying alive, some needing more help than Rae Carruth. If the Cardinals and Bears make the playoffs, it would be such a miracle that all their fans would believe in God. It seems ridiculous that a 6-8 team could still have playoff hopes, but that's what makes the end of the season exciting. With so many teams vying for the playoffs, every game seems important, even the ones involving the Saints. That translates to more sell-out games, higher television ratings, and more money in the owners' pockets. Will anything change? Not likely.

SEASON OF VIOLENCE: It's a good thing the NFL banned the throat-slash gesture, for it created a bad image for the game. Now the league needs to remind players of several other rules: (1) Do not hit the fans. (2) Do not hit the officials. (3) Do not shoot your girlfriend. (4) Do not commit burglary. Raiders tackle Lincoln Kennedy broke Rule 1, perhaps rightfully so, when he punched a Broncos fan who had pelted him with a snowball. ... Browns tackle Orlando Brown broke Rule 2 when he shoved referee Jeff Triplette, who had struck him in the eye with a weighted penalty flag. Brown, who later apologized, somehow believed during the game that Triplette had hit his eye on purpose. If that were true, the Browns ought to sign Triplette to play quarterback. ... Rule 3 was shattered tragically when Panthers wide receiver Rae "Hiding in the Trunk" Carruth allegedly masterminded the shooting death of his pregnant girlfriend. If he indeed committed the dastardly, cowardly act, we can only hope and pray that, no matter how hard he tries, he can't afford to hire Johnnie Cochran. O.J. Simpson doesn't need any company. Especially since he's so busy searching for the real killer. ... Dolphins running back Cecil "The Diesel" Collins broke Rule 4 when he burglarized a couple's home, in a strange attempt to woo the woman. He has apparently been getting dating tips from Mike Tyson. In his escape from the couple's home, Collins scooted through a window so fast, he earned himself a new nickname: Cecil "The Weasel" Collins.

MIGHTY RAMS: If Dick Vermeil isn't voted Coach of the Year, President Clinton ought to put Janet Reno on the case. Before the season, the odds of the Rams winning their division and clinching home-field advantage throughout the playoffs were about one in a zillion. Most people would have rather wagered on the Rams finishing the season as sorry as the Saints. But who could have predicted that Kurt Warner, an undrafted, journeyman quarterback, would have an MVP season and make NFL scouts look dumb? For perhaps the first time in recorded history, even ESPN's draft guru Mel Kiper is baffled.

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE: Every year, at least one team collapses at season's end after giving fans hope of a playoff berth. This year, the Seahawks are playing that role, losing four in a row and falling a game behind the Chiefs in the AFC West. Unless they can beat the Chiefs this Sunday, the Seahawks' season will be over and Dennis Erickson will be smiling. Mike Holmgren's success made the former coach look bad, but if the Seahawks finish 8-8, Erickson will say, "Hey, I accomplished that three times. And for $3 million less."