Week 17:
Seattle 24 - San Francisco 17
We did it!!!! Going down by two touchdowns early in the game didn't faze us. We just kept fighting our way back and took the lead!! I had a houseful of company here and it got LOUD!! Good times, Seahawks fans! Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed for some good luck from other teams on Sunday!
MOSES PREDICTS GAME SIXTEEN!!!!!
Posted by MOSES on 12/24/2003, 6:38 pm
HAIL TO THEE, O SEAHAWK FANS!!!!! IT IS I, MOSES, HERE TO PREDICT THE SEAHAWK/forty-noners GAME!!!!!!
LAST WEEK: A historic day for #12 and the Seahawks!!!!! WE ARE 9-6 !!!!!
Here we are. The end of the season. A year that has come to a cliffhanger the likes of which has not been seen since an old time radio serial…
(ring…..ring…..Lone Ranger??? Lone Ranger??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
I can hear it now: “ Will the Seahawks overcome the disappointments of an ignorant group of referees and blown calls to still make the playoffs? Or will all the bad luck just be another excuse for the Seahawk faithful to use during another off season after not making the playoffs?”
“Stay tuned to this station for…… All My Seahawks….”
(ring…..ring…..ABC??? ABC ??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
This season has taken quite a lot of twists and turns. The Seahawks have truly spent this season like a “Bird on a Wire”.
(ring…..ring…..Mel Gibson??? Mel Gibson??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
In fact, this whole SEASON seems to resemble a Mel Gibson filmography more than an NFL season….
At home, the Seahawks have been LETHAL WEAPONS, going 8-0 and destroying teams like William Wallace in “Braveheart”.
But as “Road Warriors”, these guys have looked more like “Sad Sacks” than “Mad Max”. Yes, “Beyond the Thunderdome” the Seahawks look like a “Team without a Face”, and “What SEAHAWK FANS Want” is to know who is behind this “Conspiracy Theory”.
(ring…..ring…..Julia Roberts??? Julia Roberts??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
BUT…….. I digress…..
The Seahawks need help to get into the playoffs, and it would take a team of mad scientists and nuclear physicists to explain all the possibilities that exist.
Here is the Reader’s Digest version of the Seahawk fate.
The Seahawk season now falls into two parts:
PART ONE: Win Saturday in San Francisco.
PART TWO: Well, let’s just say we need someone to lose Sunday:
IF THE PACKERS LOSE: We get in. Better record.
IF THE VIKINGS LOSE: We get in. Better record.
IF THE COWBOYS LOSE: We get in. How? Oh man, why don't you stop it? This is too big for you, you know that? How do we get into the playoffs if the Cowboys lose? It's a mystery! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The stupid NFL don't even know! Don't you get it?
(ring…..ring…..Oliver Stone??? Oliver Stone??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
On to this week’s crucial game. The Seahawk head to San Francisco to face the 49ers in what EVERYONE KNOWS is pretty much a playoff game for Seattle. The 49ers bring a 4th ranked offense and a 10th ranked defense into this game….
So, how in the world is this team 7-8????
Seems to me this team got off to a very….slow….start…… this year. Must have not been ready for the big games…..
Wonder why? Must have something to do with a certain head coach….
(ring…..ring…..Dennis Erickson??? Dennis Erickson??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)
BUT……..
This team is without their main man, the king of kings, the crier of crybabies Terrell Owens who broke his collarbone last week in Philly.
Terrell is quite a “Sharpie” little character. His dances, his props, his self proclamation of superiority….
Sometimes, it looks like Gallagher scored a touchdown with all the little props he uses…
Also, in case you missed it, T.O. is a tad bit….uh….self absorbed! This guy is so arrogant that he is this week’s phrase!
Yes, it’s time for…………
"TAKE A CRACK AT THIS PHRASE!!!!”
This week, I take my cracks at this phrase:
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”
…here we go!!!
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”…. He thinks that the “SF” on his helmet stands for “So Fine”.
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”…. He thinks that every time a fan calls for a “t.o.” they are talking about HIM!!
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”…. He thinks the words “BMW” on his car stands for “Be My Wheels”.
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”…. He thinks that any show called “American Idol” has to be about his own life!
“TERRELL OWENS IS SO ARROGANT”…. He thinks some team will actually WANT HIM ON THEIR TEAM next year!
BUT……..
Regardless of how arrogant he is, Terrell Owens is still one of the best receivers in football, and a sore loss for the 49ers. At least out on the FIELD he will be sore loss. On the sidelines, things might get a little more peaceful!
It also appears that Owens will be looking elsewhere for employment in the NFL next year. It seems Terrell and San Francisco was just one of those Hollywood marriages. It was bright and explosive, then it became ‘he said, she said’ in the tabloids. Looks like Terrell will need to do some things in the off season. Which is what I discovered!
So, here from our office in San Francisco and TERRELL OWENS’S PERSONAL “THINGS TO DO” LIST comes……….. (drum roll)….
“THE TOP THREE THINGS TERRELL OWENS WANTS TO DO IN THE OFFSEASON”
3. STOP ROOTING FOR THE 49ers. Wait! You can’t stop what you never STARTED!
2. SIGN MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR DEAL WITH NIKE FOR NEW NIKE SLING FOR BROKEN COLLARBONES. (Just “BREAK” it!)
1. FIND A NEW PLACE TO WORK WHERE THEY WILL APPRECIATE THE GENIUS THAT IS TERRELL OWENS… (The only place that exists like that is in T.O.’s own MIND!)
THREE PLAYERS TO WATCH FOR the forty-noners
1. TERRELL OWENS: Will he show up? Will he call home? Will he wear a fur? Do we care?
2. JACK GARCIA: Now that “money man” is out of the picture, where does Garcia lean now?
3. TODD PEDERSON: Former Seahawk would love to “kick” his old team out of the playoff picture.
THREE PLAYERS TO WATCH FOR THE SEAHAWKS:
1. MATT HASSELBECK: This is one of those “Character building” games to learn how to win.
2. KOREN ROBINSON: With D-Jack limping, K-rob has to carry the passing game.
3. CHAD BROWN: “THE PAIN TRAIN IS COMIN’!!!”
SO, CAN THEY DO IT?????
MOSES PREDICTS:
SEAHAWKS 31
San fransissyco forty-noners 23
SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE!!!!!
MOSES
HEY MOSES!!!!! WHAT'S FOR DINNER FOR GAME SIXTEEN?????
Posted by MOSES on 12/25/2003, 8:18 pm
This Sunday during the SEAHAWK/ forty –noners game, I encourage all Seahawk fans to eat the following and celebrate the holidays:
Try THIS!!!
-(Mike) RUMPH ROAST
-CHICKEN (Tim) RATTAY –TUI
-(Derrick) DEESE DIP
-(John) HAM-ENLGEBERGERS
-(Jeremy) NEWBERRY PIE
- Lots of leftover Christmas cookies.
- Some Christmas Ham (courtesy of T.O.)
- Some eggnog (HEAVILY spiked)
and wash it down with LIQUID (Ahmed) PLUMMER!!
ENJOY!!!!
MOSES
Now it's your turn! Send me your thoughts on the game and I'll post them right here!
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